Despite the skepticism displayed
in my last entry, I am feeling much better about myself and the choices I’ve
made…Thank you to those who have given me words of support and encouragement.
My gratitude is endless for helping me to ease the stress off my shoulders… Through
this process I have learned many things including the following:
1) How to contact my health
insurance and my IPA group to find a new doctor on my own without any help.
This may seem silly but when you live at home it’s just natural to ask Mom how
to change your doctor, but knowing I’d be on my own without her to ask on a
whim, I took the initiative on my own without a word of help from anyone
2) It’s still okay to ask for
help. Needing help isn’t a weakness and doesn’t mean that you aren’t a
competent adult, it just means you can use knowledge that other people have
3) Communication Communication
Communication. I am not the best at this but I have been discovering new things
about myself and how I tick that will make this easier in the future
4) This one is still a work in progress, just
as #s 2 and 3 are: It goes along the lines of what my mother has been telling
me all along, “there is no right or wrong path, there’s only YOUR path.” I
always thought this quote was comparing my life path with that of others, but I
started to see it in another light today. The path that I planned myself is not the one I’m taking and
that is okay. I work best when a plan is drawn out in my head and stick to it.
Travelling to Australia and giving up the many comforts of my home and future
endeavors was not in my plan drawn up before Jamie. Deviating from “the plan”
is what is making my head spin like a tornado. So I’m putting the old, outdated
blueprint of my life in a file cabinet near the back of my mind and creating a
new one. Starting here and now. I’ve
decided that if nothing else, this trip, move, adventure, journey, whatever you
call it, will be my way of chilling out and taking a breath. I need to find my
happy again: my spontaneous: my passion for living and being free to do
whatever I set my mind to, not what the plan in my head thinks I should do. The journey to a freer me!
It’s 2 in
the morning so I think I should go to bed now; but before I do, I have one last
thing to share. I put in my notice at work today! My last day will be August 2nd.
Wow that makes things very real! The next 4 weeks are going to fly by! And with
my new perspective on my future and its uncertainty (that I only just gained
while typing out this entry), I almost feel more free by having tied up that
loose end, and being able to create an entirely new, modernized blueprint! On
second thought, screw blueprints! I think I’ll just wing it! See, I’m learning J
That's my girl! <3
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