Standing my Ground.

     For quite a few months now I have been doing extensive research on several different things in order to prepare for the big move. Honestly, I think all of the energy behind the research was fueled by my amazing procrastination skills during the school semester. Now that school is out and the assignments have ended I can't think of one darn thing to research. So what have I been doing to prepare? Going on Google Earth and perusing the local places around the neighborhood of course! Well, that and looking at places to rent even though we won't be renting a place any time in the near future. It's quite pathetic actually. But this sad waste of time did actually help me find something very important. Let me start by backing up a few days. This last weekend I visited my middle sister, Kim, in Boulder, CO (the most incredible and much needed weekend I've had in a long time! Thanks Kim ;)). I had a good conversation with her boyfriend about the jobs that I could or should get while I'm there. He suggested that I look into getting a job that revolves around the profession I'm aiming toward, which is Respiratory Therapy. So going back to my Google Earth search, I found two medical centers within a mile from the house I'll be staying in! I'm so excited about this because in my mind it's a way of becoming more educated while I'm not in school. If I get the job (probably just filing or doing other grunge work), I'll at least be in the environment that I'm working toward in the future. I may not be getting school credits or working toward a degree during this time period but I'll at least be gaining the experience and the addition to my resume. Such a wonderful epiphany!

        Recently another conversation came up revolving my Australian adventure. I was faced with questions like: how do you really know this guy, have you thought about x, y, and, z, what if this or that were to come up, what if down the road...and so on. I know in my heart that they were looking out for my best interest with all these questions but I found it interesting how talking to different people makes me feel different things. A few weeks ago I was fortunate enough to have a fabulous conversation with my incredibly wise and insightful aunt about the exact same things. I felt so empowered and confident about my relationship with Jamie afterward, almost as if I fell in love with him all over again just by talking about "us." After this particular conversation in Colorado I was left feeling uneasy about the decision: second-guessing once more. All of the points made were very valid, but something about this was different. Maybe it's the way the questions are phrased or the way they had only know the situation through second-hand information except for this one conversation, making me feel as though my answers were more highly critiqued or judged. Or my favorite reason: they think they know what's best for me.  People question things that are different and go their entire lives thinking that other people who "go against the grain" are wrong; but why is it that people are so quick to conclude that different is bad? And I''m not just talking about this one instance. I realized that people push how they would feel in my situation or in my relationship; but here's another epiphany, this isn't their life! I'm doing what is best for me, not them. Period. Don't get me wrong, I, myself have "what if" questions running through my mind but I'm sure as hell not going to let them rule my life. I could play that game with every tiny decision I make: what if I roll out of bed on the left side instead of the right? I won't know until I try! And I firmly believe it is worth the risk. I'm learning (slowly) that setbacks in life (while they may be so infuriating) are really not walls that I can't climb over but merely curves in the road. With this new (and still kind of shaky) attitude, nothing that I face during my trip can hold me back from achieving my goals. This isn't to say that there's nothing to be cautious of, but I am a pretty darn intelligent young woman and I like to think that I am more than capable of thinking each situation and circumstance that may or may not come up all the way through. That's all the credit I ask for. If you believe in my intelligence then you should believe in my ability to make my own independent choices.

     On another note, I still haven't committed to a health insurance company 100% yet. The last time I was about to join up something made me stop to reconsider, and not gonna lie, that was so long ago that I don't even remember what it was. So I should probably get on that ay?

    A few weekends ago I went to my Opa and Oma's house again for my Oma's birthday. I was able to take the day off work and my aunt and her good friend from Reno were also able to join in on the festivities. We had such a fabulous day driving through the several wineries in Temecula. After finally finding the perfect one, we found ourselves a table, ordered a huge pitcher of sangria, and basked in each others' company till the sangria wore off. When we got back to the house, they showed me two more pieces of luggage that they had picked up for me. One is a normal, good sized suitcase, and the second is a huge duffle-bag like thing with wheels and a pullout handle. And when I say huge, I mean HUGE. It's absolutely perfect for my massive load of possessions so I'm anxious to pile everything in! Is is still too soon to pack??