Home ~ Phillip Phillips

     I have arrived in Oregon!! It's weird to have the mindset that Eugene is now my "home." It's almost like I have to make a conscious effort to have this mindset though. Not only is it because I've never known "home" to be anywhere other than Orange County, but also because, I'm sure I've said it before, I'm a gypsy soul. I have the need to move from one place to the next. I want to be constantly learning new cultures and seeing new things. Feel new feelings and experience more than my mind can take! So a few days after settling in, I started to get that antsy bug ALREADY. I started to have a mini panic attack because I had never gotten "the bug" so soon after arriving somewhere. I told Jamie, who I have remained close friends with, about this and how it made me scared because I didn't feel like anywhere I ever went would ever feel like home. He made me realized that the only reason I felt that way is because of that scared feeling. I have no friends here, I only know Katie and her fiance, Nick. I hardly know my way to three stores, among other things that made me feel very unsettled. But that's when I realized that the conscious effort needed to be made on my part to just be. To remind myself every day that it's okay to be unsettled only a week after arriving, or even a month or two after arriving. It will take time and I will be happy and feel like I belong when life falls into place. The song Home by Phillip Phillips goes like this:

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

I just have to keep chugging along and know that God has a plan for me. Even if I'm afraid to face it right now.