Who You Are ~ Jessie J.

      

      While all the songs I've written about previously are based on emotions or life events that I'm going through, this one in particular hit closer to home about who I am (hence the title). 

I stare at my reflection in the mirror
Why am I doing this to myself?

Losing my mind on a tiny error,

I nearly left the real me on the shelf

"no, no, no, no..."

      This first verse touches on the part of me that is extremely self-critical, how I obsess over something big or small that I regret doing, thinking, or even feeling. I beat myself up over something that was just pure instinct. For being myself. A co-worker didn't smile at me as much today...what did I do wrong? How can I change to be more likable? Or how that guy I went on a few dates with was a waste of time... I should have seen it coming. I was too easily fooled. I need to be better at seeing through people and standing up for myself. 

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,

It's okay not to be okay...

Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart.

Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,

Just be true to who you are!

      Sometimes...okay not sometimes...I am always confusing living in reality with living in my dreams. This is a blessing and a curse all at once. On one hand I'm able to dream up wonderful scenarios to keep myself entertained and optimistic about the possibilities and "what ifs." On the other hand though I find myself really believing the things I dream up. I set unrealistic expectations for life and end up disappointed, wondering what the hell happened, and why I'm so emotion over something that really wasn't a big deal to begin with. That's where, as Jessie J. states, "don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars" . 

       But Jessie J. also says, "it's okay to be who you are." I'm hoping that just being aware of how unrealistic my imagination can be will help me to stay grounded when it starts wondering again. My mom recently gave me a self-help/workbook that helps to make yourself aware of your wondering mind and to pull yourself back to the present. I was reading this book in a coffee shop when the barista came up and discussed with me something called "present time consciousness," which is pretty much the exact same thing. It is such an intriguing topic to read on and to literally exercise your mind with the activities the workbook demonstrates. I can obviously learn a lot from these concepts and hopefully bring myself less hurt and much more peace of mind.